Friends and Family,
As 2013 comes to a close, I find myself reviewing more
recent events rather than starting, as is the custom, with January 2013. So, this
year, we start off with November 1, 2013, and work backwards from there.
After a brief stay in the hospital that began November 1,
2013, with a visit to the emergency room, Dad’s last days were spent at the BSA
Hospice inpatient facility in downtown Amarillo. He had just moved to an
assisted living facility in the Amarillo area the Friday before.
Even though he was never in pain, his heart, already damaged
from a heart attack when he was in his 50’s and what the doctor said was
probably more than just one heart attack, was
not operable other than with open heart surgery, to which Dad said “no”,
“hell, no”. The doctor recommended he consider hospice care, to which Dad said
“yes,” and mentioned he thought highly of the work they did. On Sunday, we were able to connect Dad with
Doug and Cindy using Facetime on the iPhone. And, even though Dad was on 100%
forced oxygen, it was a good way to “talk” while Dad was still fully aware of
his surroundings. On Sunday afternoon, November 3, 2013, Dad entered the
hospice facility.
On Monday, we were fortunate Laura, Cindy’s daughter-in-law,
could drive out from Haskell, OK, and bring Cindy, granddaughter Melinda, the
“boy”, as Dad called his great-grandson, Ian, and grandkids, Matthew, Nathan
and Anya. Also along was Laura and David’s little one, Ethan. Doug arrived from
Atlanta on Tuesday at noon. Mid-week,
Mike was able to join Cindy and bring Katherine out as well. So, we were all together
at the hospice to spend time with Dad. The hospice’s literature predicted Dad
may experience a last burst of energy. On Thursday, we were all able to have
special time with him. After everyone left on Saturday, Dad was resting
peacefully for several more days. I had said goodnight to Dad around 10:30 p.m.
on Monday to settle in for the night at the hospice, and Dad passed away
peacefully in his sleep shortly after 1 A.M. on Tuesday, November 12, 2013. Here
is a link
to a detailed online obituary.
Dad got all of his wishes: (1) he was able to make all the
decisions for his care including the decision to enter hospice; (2) he was not
in pain; (3) he didn’t run out of money; (4) he died peacefully in his sleep;
and (5) he didn’t die alone. Today, when
people ask how I am doing, I reply, “Dad was where he needed to be. For that I
am thankful”. A memory I will cherish from that week was Dad squeezing my hand
as I talked about all the photos of him and his grandkids in his “memory book”,
which we displayed at the visitation in Oklahoma City.
Prior to moving to Amarillo, Dad was in a rehab facility in
Oklahoma City, due to a hospital stay over Labor Day, when he was being treated
for pneumonia. When he entered the
facility, he was not able to communicate and was having trouble swallowing,
but, when he was discharged on October 25, he was back to his old self and
talked the entire trip on the way to Amarillo, which is why it was such a shock
the next week when he experienced the heart attack.
Before Labor Day, we had what I would have called our usual
activities, including a vacation in Germany, where I was able to meet Bruce after
his research in Munich and before he went to England for a conference and
Dresden to teach. We visited Munich for the first part of the trip to and finished
up with a few days in Trier before an overnight stay in Frankfurt before I
headed home. You can view our photos from our vacations at http://www.brasingtontravels.shutterfly.com.
I am still working from home with Xerox Education Services
although I have been told my responsibilities are changing in January
2014. One of the most significant
regulatory changes for the larger participants in the student loan industry (we
are one of them) is the new oversight by the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau
beginning in March 1, 2014. I have been
involved in this preparation work as well as some compliance and audit work.
The day is never dull and it is about to get even more interesting.
Bruce received another award this year from the Texas-based
Minnie Stevens Piper Foundation. The Foundation provides a cash award and the
prestigious designation “Piper Professor” to 10 college and university
professors from nominations submitted from all across Texas each year. Last
year, 2012, Bruce was named a Regents’ Professor by the Texas A&M
University System. The three–year annual cash award allows Bruce to have additional
funds to travel and purchase books or other items for his research.
During Spring Break, we visited San Antonio with two other
couples and the rest of Texas it seemed. We had a nice stop on the way back to
visit Fredericksburg and overnight stay at the recently renovated historic
Hotel Settles in Big Spring.
Other travels include trips to Bryan/College Station to
visit Bruce’s dad, who celebrated his 93rd birthday December 16. He
has had some heart issues this past year as well, but has been able to handle
them without too many problems. He lives
in an upscale apartment complex for seniors (the Watercrest in Bryan) and uses
a scooter to get around the complex because of a “bum knee”.
I enjoy book club (we meet about once a month to talk about
a book (at least some of the evening) and enjoy dinner and conversation (and
wine)) and the Beta Sigma Phi sorority (we meet two times a month from
September to May also to enjoy dinner and a program presented by a member).
Bruce enjoys watching ice hockey most every night (October to June). Other times we attend WT arts and music events
and other cultural events, including Amarillo Opera.
We decided not to attend the Cotton Bowl due to the
unpredictable weather this time of year. Last year, we had to cancel our trip
to the OSU game in the Heart of Dallas Bowl and don’t want that to happen
again. We will, of course, be watching from home. Go Pokes!
As for our nieces and nephews, Doug’s daughter, Kendra, will
graduate high school in 2014, and is looking at different colleges to attend. Doug
is in a new home in Marietta and we will see that when we attend Kendra’s
graduation, a request Dad made when he had special time with Doug at the
hospice. Doug’s sons, Bayley and Adam, are growing up and finding their talents
and skills. Bayley: the guitar and cross country running. Adam: football and
any sport. Cindy’s eldest, Melinda, and
her family will be moving back to Seattle, WA, after being in Oklahoma City for
about a year. The other children still at home, Anya, Matthew, Nathan and
Katherine, are close to getting their driver’s licenses (all around the same
time!), which will help Cindy tremendously as it really is not safe for her to
drive.
So as we close out
the year, 2013, we want to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We
hold you close to our hearts and want all the best for you in the coming year,
including Peace on Earth as we celebrate
the birth of a tiny babe in a manger who came to save the world.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Bruce and Darlene
(and HarleyDog) Brasington.
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